It's a wonderful life...

We have had a GREAT Christmas! We were very fortunate to get to spend time with most of our family. It did require A LOT of traveling, but it was definitely worth it! My wonderful husband surprised me with a new I-pod. I've been wanting a new one FOREVER & although we weren't supposed to get each other "big" gifts, he surprised me with one anyway. I honestly think he was as excited about it as I was because of my reaction. He's so amazing!

We have another special treat coming up... on Tuesday at 10:00, we go to the doctor to find out if our little love is a boy or a girl! I absolutely CANNOT wait! I'm trying to make myself enjoy these last few hours of mystery, but I'm SO anxious to find out. I can honestly say that I will be thrilled either way. I'm so ready to see him/her and know that everything in going great! I know that Dwight will be thrilled either way as well. My gut instinct is still "boy" but of course, that's just a guess.

The pregnancy is going so great now! It's really been pretty smooth all along. I was only sick for about 4 weeks, although the exhaustion lasted a lot longer. I am finally managing to stay energized for most of the day now. It's nice to know that over the past few weeks, I've been that "happy pregnant person" that I promised Dwight I would be. He was really doubting me there for awhile in the beginning. I think that as each day passes and my stomach gets bigger and people are able to feel the baby move, everything becomes so much more realistic. I can't help but want to rush the time so the baby is here, but I'm really trying to make myself slow down and enjoy each day. One day, before I know it, this little squirmy worm will be 9 years old sitting next to me on the sofa like my other "baby" is now. :0)

I'm thinking about creating a new blog just for updates on my pregnancy and the baby. I'm going to try to begin working on one. BUT while I'm off this week, I also want to get the decorations down, some things organized, work on my scrapbook, and try out sewing some baby stuff. Oh yeah, I need to reorganize my music & put it on my new I-pod & work on the bathroom/bedroom area too! It's a good thing I'm feeling energized here lately.

I hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas & has a blessed new year! What a wonderful time for new beginnings!

Much love!

Thankful...

I have so enjoyed my time off for Thanksgiving break! I've been able to spend time with family and friends and catch up with some friends I haven't seen in awhile. I have SO MANY things to be thankful for.

My oh my how my life has changed in a year! This time last year, I was facing the impending death of my father, loss of my baby and time away from my fiance. Now, I'm married, have a beautiful home, two wonderful daughters, amazing husband who I get to see EVERY day and a sweet little baby on the way!!

I think the most exciting part for me right now is that I felt our baby moving for the first time on Thursday, 11/19. What an incredible feeling!! It makes everything so real! It is by far one of the greatest things about being pregnant. Those little flips and flutters sometimes take my breath away! I absolutely cannot wait for our baby to get here!! I go to the doctor again on Thursday & should get to find out the sex of the baby on 12/30! God is so good!!

Although, things are not "perfect" all of the time... I know that they never really will be. I'm always going to miss my Daddy. And there are always going to be things that happen (i.e. my stupid car giving me trouble AGAIN & my bathroom STILL not being complete) BUT I have so many more things that are absolutely WONDERFUL and AMAZING and I am going to focus on those things and the many blessings that the Lord has granted me!!

I LOVE MY LIFE!!!

The magic number

Wanna know my new favorite number? It's 153!!! That's how many beats per minutes my sweet little angel's heart is beating. That's music to my ears b/c that's how we know things are ok so far. I will blog more later... just wanted to say we should be meeting James Carter or Lynlee Cate around May 25th!!! We are SO EXCITED!!!

It's been awhile....

How have I gone so long without posting??? And how could I even BEGIN to explain all that has happened in the 2 1/2 months since my last post??? Let's back up to Jamaica.

JAMAICA

Oh sweet Jamaica.... perfect, relaxing, wonderful, amazing (did I mention PERFECT?) Jamaica.

We had an amazing room, ate delicious food, met wonderful people, swam in the gorgeous water... oh it was simply Heaven on Earth. And our wedding was so sweet and beautiful and well, just perfect. I'll have to post a more detailed blog about it another time.

THE RETURN

We landed in Atlanta & had not even pulled up to get off the plane when "reality" or the events so crazy that they could only be reality for ME-hit us head on. Rylee's Dad and his girlfrind were shot and killed. I'm sure most of you know the details. How was I going to help my baby through this loss? Thank goodness for Uncle Toby. The funeral was very strange and surreal, and hard for her. But she has recovered AMAZINGLY.

OUR NEW HOME

We were home from Jamaica for a week when we FINALLY got to close on our new (to us)house. There were so many little "almost setbacks" that I honestly worried it wouldn't happen, but it did. We are the proud owners of a beautiful 3600 sq ft 1956 brick ranch home. It is so perfect for us! We have more than enough room for everyone and lots of room to grow! I refinished my parent's old furniture that my Daddy gave me. It is so nice! We have been blessed to have enough money to buy Dwight a nice new T.V. with surround sound, some new furniture and some fun new things for me! We have so many ideas of things we want to renovate, but love what we have now too!

LIFE IN BUTLER

We are really adjusting to life here! I actually LOVE IT! I love that the lady at Regions bank knows me by name when I walk in. I love the small-town atmosphere. Rylee is doing so great in school. She has so many new friends and is taking gymnastics and chef and art 4-H. My job is kind of a long drive, but I like the people I work with and my kiddos too. It's worth the drive, in the end.

MORE GOOD NEWS

So, Dwight and I decided to start trying for a baby in August. We were on a mission & of course I was stressing out thinking it wouldn't happen. I took numerous tests with no "positive" result. Then on Saturday, September 12... Dwight was getting ready to head to Birmingham to play golf with his buddies. He was in the shower & I came in there unbeknownst to him. I had to go potty... so I decided I may as well take my last test & could just purchase more later that day. So I took it, walked out, walked back in & saw "pregnant" and there was no "not" in front of it this time! I screamed and jumped halfway into the shower with Dwight. Of course, it scared him to death and he had shampoo all in his eyes & was trying to figure out what was going on. Once he realized, he was happy too! I went and prayed and cried some happy tears & I don't think I've taken my hand of my belly ever since. :0) We go to the doctor a week from today. We are both just praying that the baby has a good, strong heartbeat and that all is going well. We feel sure that the Lord is going to bless us with this sweet little healthy baby. We ask anyone who reads this to pray for us as well. Especially, given what happened before...

SO HERE WE ARE

So, those are all of our life changes as of late. I'm FINALLY where I've always wanted to be in life! I absolutely LOVE being married and having my girls and my home and my new sewing machine and my new life. It's all I've ever wanted and more! Thanks be to God! He truly has a plan for us all. I'm living proof that investing faith in the Lord will get you through ANYTHING and it will all be better in time!!!

The sad part is....

I'm so excited about everything I have coming up. I am so blessed to be one of the lucky people who has found "the one" to spend the rest of my life with. BUT I never thought I would be walking down the aisle without my Daddy. That's a lot of the reason that we're going away & getting married alone. It's easier that Daddy's not there, if noone is there. I bought a locket that I attached to my bouquet. Inside it, I placed my favorite picture ever taken... one of my Daddy holding Rylee on the beach. Rylee was about 3 years old and has the biggest smile. And my sweet, handsome Daddy is grinning b/c he's at his favorite place holding one of his favorite girls. Their beautiful blue eyes match the sky. So that's my way of having them both there to walk me down the aisle.

Also, I let Rylee choose my "something borrowed" for me to wear. Sweet angel that she is, she chose for me to wear a heart pendant that my Daddy gave to her not long before we found out he was sick. It was the last gift that he gave her. She thought that was the "perfect" thing for me. I couldn't agree more. So, my bridal jewelry may not be what one would typically see, but it's more beautiful and special than any other I could imagine.

I'm also having a hard time with the fact that our baby would have been due a couple of weeks ago. I don't know how to explain the empty feeling that I still have inside. I think of my sweet angel every day. And I can't help but continue to blame myself for the fact that he's not here. I know that this was God's plan and He has a reason for it. But that doesn't feel that empty feeling that I have. To never see or hold or kiss or smell that perfect little one created with the person I love more than I ever imagined possible..... well, it just causes a void that I can't explain. And to lose my baby and my Daddy within a week, is just more than one person should ever have to endure. We are planning on getting pregnant soon. But, nothing can ever replace our first baby. Mommy loves you, my sweet angel!! Kiss your Papa for me.

One of the many reasons I love Dwight so much is the way he paints the picture of the two of them in Heaven and of their love surrounding me every time I get upset about them being gone. He's had to pull me out of that abyss so many times. I have a feeling I don't thank him enough for that.

I know that so many happy times are just around the corner, but I just don't think that this pain and sadness will ever go away.

My future's so bright.....

I haven't had the chance (or required technology) to post in quite some time, so here's a little update...

Rylee and I are beginning to adjust to the country life in Butler. I'm actually kind of loving it. I think it's just because I get to see Dwight every day. I always told him that I could be happy in a Turkish prison with him. I think that may be true. I'm so excited about the life that we are building together. The girls are getting along so well and Madison and I are creating our own secial bond. I'm loving the time I am able to send with his family. I'm so blessed to be a part of it.

We found a house that we love and should be closing the week before we leave for Jamaica. I go to sleep at night planning and decorating in my mind.

Speaking of Jamaica.... we leave in 2 weeks!!! I can't believe it's is finally here. I have bought everything on my list except for a case for my new camera that Dwight just bought me. And new swim trunks for him. I really tried to talk him into the bikini thongs with "Papi" written on the waistband, but it was a no go. I think we may have found a new nickname for him at least.

As for the wedding.... I THINK I have it all planned the way I want it. I haven't had to do much at all, just a few little extra touches I wanted here and there. It's so much easier than planning the traditional wedding!! I'm just so excited about becoming Mrs. Dean!!! I can't even begin to explain how it feels. Of course, I'm scared to death to completely hand my heart over to someone. But honestly, for the first time in my entire life, it feels like the most "right" thing I've ever done. It's amazing to me that I still fall more in love with him every day... even when he drives me crazy. I couldn't possibly be more excited about our future together!!!

Tuesday, my grandfather has to have surgery. I'm so scared, for obvious reasons. But, I know the Lord will take care of him and he will be much better soon!

I have so many exciting things coming up!! I'll post more as soon as I can!!

Houses, jobs & trannys....not THAT kind!!

Well, I've been between Birmingham & Butler for a week and a half now. I've made several trips back and forth. On my first full day in Butler, Rylee and I went to look at another house & we both REALLY liked it. It's HUGE, has plenty of bedrooms and space to fill with little baby Deans & the big ones we already have. :0) Thursday, we met Dwight on his lunch break & he looked at it too. It was all looking great and promising. Then I ended up getting COMPLETELY lost and almost ran out of gas in the middle of nowhere. I called him hysterically crying & finally found a gas station & headed to Birmingham. I think it was a bit of a mental breakdown with all that I have going on. I headed to Sondra & Chasity's house & stayed fro the night.

The next morning, I am on my way to my old school to get the rest of my things & "sign off" on my sheet. I try to force my gear shifter thingy into reverse & my car breaks. Of course!!! I'm pretty much homeless, instructing my daughter to memorize my car tag as her address.... why WOULDN'T my car break? Chas to the rescue!! She comes and gets me & once we discover that we can't fix the problem, she loans me her car & calls her uncle to come look at it th next day. The good thing that happened that day was that I got a call for an interview at the school where Rylee will be going next year. We set it up for Monday.

So, Friday morning, Chas' uncle informs me that the shifter cable to my transmission is broken. I call around & the part has to be ordered to arrive on Tuesday. Chas to the rescue, again... she lets me use her car for the weekend to go for my interview.

The interview went really well. I won't know anything until the end of the month, but at least I've got some prospects!! Wish me luck!!

Anywhoo... I'm getting a little tired. I have more to tell, but I guess it will have to wait.

Much love!!!