It's a wonderful life...

We have had a GREAT Christmas! We were very fortunate to get to spend time with most of our family. It did require A LOT of traveling, but it was definitely worth it! My wonderful husband surprised me with a new I-pod. I've been wanting a new one FOREVER & although we weren't supposed to get each other "big" gifts, he surprised me with one anyway. I honestly think he was as excited about it as I was because of my reaction. He's so amazing!

We have another special treat coming up... on Tuesday at 10:00, we go to the doctor to find out if our little love is a boy or a girl! I absolutely CANNOT wait! I'm trying to make myself enjoy these last few hours of mystery, but I'm SO anxious to find out. I can honestly say that I will be thrilled either way. I'm so ready to see him/her and know that everything in going great! I know that Dwight will be thrilled either way as well. My gut instinct is still "boy" but of course, that's just a guess.

The pregnancy is going so great now! It's really been pretty smooth all along. I was only sick for about 4 weeks, although the exhaustion lasted a lot longer. I am finally managing to stay energized for most of the day now. It's nice to know that over the past few weeks, I've been that "happy pregnant person" that I promised Dwight I would be. He was really doubting me there for awhile in the beginning. I think that as each day passes and my stomach gets bigger and people are able to feel the baby move, everything becomes so much more realistic. I can't help but want to rush the time so the baby is here, but I'm really trying to make myself slow down and enjoy each day. One day, before I know it, this little squirmy worm will be 9 years old sitting next to me on the sofa like my other "baby" is now. :0)

I'm thinking about creating a new blog just for updates on my pregnancy and the baby. I'm going to try to begin working on one. BUT while I'm off this week, I also want to get the decorations down, some things organized, work on my scrapbook, and try out sewing some baby stuff. Oh yeah, I need to reorganize my music & put it on my new I-pod & work on the bathroom/bedroom area too! It's a good thing I'm feeling energized here lately.

I hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas & has a blessed new year! What a wonderful time for new beginnings!

Much love!

Thankful...

I have so enjoyed my time off for Thanksgiving break! I've been able to spend time with family and friends and catch up with some friends I haven't seen in awhile. I have SO MANY things to be thankful for.

My oh my how my life has changed in a year! This time last year, I was facing the impending death of my father, loss of my baby and time away from my fiance. Now, I'm married, have a beautiful home, two wonderful daughters, amazing husband who I get to see EVERY day and a sweet little baby on the way!!

I think the most exciting part for me right now is that I felt our baby moving for the first time on Thursday, 11/19. What an incredible feeling!! It makes everything so real! It is by far one of the greatest things about being pregnant. Those little flips and flutters sometimes take my breath away! I absolutely cannot wait for our baby to get here!! I go to the doctor again on Thursday & should get to find out the sex of the baby on 12/30! God is so good!!

Although, things are not "perfect" all of the time... I know that they never really will be. I'm always going to miss my Daddy. And there are always going to be things that happen (i.e. my stupid car giving me trouble AGAIN & my bathroom STILL not being complete) BUT I have so many more things that are absolutely WONDERFUL and AMAZING and I am going to focus on those things and the many blessings that the Lord has granted me!!

I LOVE MY LIFE!!!

The magic number

Wanna know my new favorite number? It's 153!!! That's how many beats per minutes my sweet little angel's heart is beating. That's music to my ears b/c that's how we know things are ok so far. I will blog more later... just wanted to say we should be meeting James Carter or Lynlee Cate around May 25th!!! We are SO EXCITED!!!

It's been awhile....

How have I gone so long without posting??? And how could I even BEGIN to explain all that has happened in the 2 1/2 months since my last post??? Let's back up to Jamaica.

JAMAICA

Oh sweet Jamaica.... perfect, relaxing, wonderful, amazing (did I mention PERFECT?) Jamaica.

We had an amazing room, ate delicious food, met wonderful people, swam in the gorgeous water... oh it was simply Heaven on Earth. And our wedding was so sweet and beautiful and well, just perfect. I'll have to post a more detailed blog about it another time.

THE RETURN

We landed in Atlanta & had not even pulled up to get off the plane when "reality" or the events so crazy that they could only be reality for ME-hit us head on. Rylee's Dad and his girlfrind were shot and killed. I'm sure most of you know the details. How was I going to help my baby through this loss? Thank goodness for Uncle Toby. The funeral was very strange and surreal, and hard for her. But she has recovered AMAZINGLY.

OUR NEW HOME

We were home from Jamaica for a week when we FINALLY got to close on our new (to us)house. There were so many little "almost setbacks" that I honestly worried it wouldn't happen, but it did. We are the proud owners of a beautiful 3600 sq ft 1956 brick ranch home. It is so perfect for us! We have more than enough room for everyone and lots of room to grow! I refinished my parent's old furniture that my Daddy gave me. It is so nice! We have been blessed to have enough money to buy Dwight a nice new T.V. with surround sound, some new furniture and some fun new things for me! We have so many ideas of things we want to renovate, but love what we have now too!

LIFE IN BUTLER

We are really adjusting to life here! I actually LOVE IT! I love that the lady at Regions bank knows me by name when I walk in. I love the small-town atmosphere. Rylee is doing so great in school. She has so many new friends and is taking gymnastics and chef and art 4-H. My job is kind of a long drive, but I like the people I work with and my kiddos too. It's worth the drive, in the end.

MORE GOOD NEWS

So, Dwight and I decided to start trying for a baby in August. We were on a mission & of course I was stressing out thinking it wouldn't happen. I took numerous tests with no "positive" result. Then on Saturday, September 12... Dwight was getting ready to head to Birmingham to play golf with his buddies. He was in the shower & I came in there unbeknownst to him. I had to go potty... so I decided I may as well take my last test & could just purchase more later that day. So I took it, walked out, walked back in & saw "pregnant" and there was no "not" in front of it this time! I screamed and jumped halfway into the shower with Dwight. Of course, it scared him to death and he had shampoo all in his eyes & was trying to figure out what was going on. Once he realized, he was happy too! I went and prayed and cried some happy tears & I don't think I've taken my hand of my belly ever since. :0) We go to the doctor a week from today. We are both just praying that the baby has a good, strong heartbeat and that all is going well. We feel sure that the Lord is going to bless us with this sweet little healthy baby. We ask anyone who reads this to pray for us as well. Especially, given what happened before...

SO HERE WE ARE

So, those are all of our life changes as of late. I'm FINALLY where I've always wanted to be in life! I absolutely LOVE being married and having my girls and my home and my new sewing machine and my new life. It's all I've ever wanted and more! Thanks be to God! He truly has a plan for us all. I'm living proof that investing faith in the Lord will get you through ANYTHING and it will all be better in time!!!

The sad part is....

I'm so excited about everything I have coming up. I am so blessed to be one of the lucky people who has found "the one" to spend the rest of my life with. BUT I never thought I would be walking down the aisle without my Daddy. That's a lot of the reason that we're going away & getting married alone. It's easier that Daddy's not there, if noone is there. I bought a locket that I attached to my bouquet. Inside it, I placed my favorite picture ever taken... one of my Daddy holding Rylee on the beach. Rylee was about 3 years old and has the biggest smile. And my sweet, handsome Daddy is grinning b/c he's at his favorite place holding one of his favorite girls. Their beautiful blue eyes match the sky. So that's my way of having them both there to walk me down the aisle.

Also, I let Rylee choose my "something borrowed" for me to wear. Sweet angel that she is, she chose for me to wear a heart pendant that my Daddy gave to her not long before we found out he was sick. It was the last gift that he gave her. She thought that was the "perfect" thing for me. I couldn't agree more. So, my bridal jewelry may not be what one would typically see, but it's more beautiful and special than any other I could imagine.

I'm also having a hard time with the fact that our baby would have been due a couple of weeks ago. I don't know how to explain the empty feeling that I still have inside. I think of my sweet angel every day. And I can't help but continue to blame myself for the fact that he's not here. I know that this was God's plan and He has a reason for it. But that doesn't feel that empty feeling that I have. To never see or hold or kiss or smell that perfect little one created with the person I love more than I ever imagined possible..... well, it just causes a void that I can't explain. And to lose my baby and my Daddy within a week, is just more than one person should ever have to endure. We are planning on getting pregnant soon. But, nothing can ever replace our first baby. Mommy loves you, my sweet angel!! Kiss your Papa for me.

One of the many reasons I love Dwight so much is the way he paints the picture of the two of them in Heaven and of their love surrounding me every time I get upset about them being gone. He's had to pull me out of that abyss so many times. I have a feeling I don't thank him enough for that.

I know that so many happy times are just around the corner, but I just don't think that this pain and sadness will ever go away.

My future's so bright.....

I haven't had the chance (or required technology) to post in quite some time, so here's a little update...

Rylee and I are beginning to adjust to the country life in Butler. I'm actually kind of loving it. I think it's just because I get to see Dwight every day. I always told him that I could be happy in a Turkish prison with him. I think that may be true. I'm so excited about the life that we are building together. The girls are getting along so well and Madison and I are creating our own secial bond. I'm loving the time I am able to send with his family. I'm so blessed to be a part of it.

We found a house that we love and should be closing the week before we leave for Jamaica. I go to sleep at night planning and decorating in my mind.

Speaking of Jamaica.... we leave in 2 weeks!!! I can't believe it's is finally here. I have bought everything on my list except for a case for my new camera that Dwight just bought me. And new swim trunks for him. I really tried to talk him into the bikini thongs with "Papi" written on the waistband, but it was a no go. I think we may have found a new nickname for him at least.

As for the wedding.... I THINK I have it all planned the way I want it. I haven't had to do much at all, just a few little extra touches I wanted here and there. It's so much easier than planning the traditional wedding!! I'm just so excited about becoming Mrs. Dean!!! I can't even begin to explain how it feels. Of course, I'm scared to death to completely hand my heart over to someone. But honestly, for the first time in my entire life, it feels like the most "right" thing I've ever done. It's amazing to me that I still fall more in love with him every day... even when he drives me crazy. I couldn't possibly be more excited about our future together!!!

Tuesday, my grandfather has to have surgery. I'm so scared, for obvious reasons. But, I know the Lord will take care of him and he will be much better soon!

I have so many exciting things coming up!! I'll post more as soon as I can!!

Houses, jobs & trannys....not THAT kind!!

Well, I've been between Birmingham & Butler for a week and a half now. I've made several trips back and forth. On my first full day in Butler, Rylee and I went to look at another house & we both REALLY liked it. It's HUGE, has plenty of bedrooms and space to fill with little baby Deans & the big ones we already have. :0) Thursday, we met Dwight on his lunch break & he looked at it too. It was all looking great and promising. Then I ended up getting COMPLETELY lost and almost ran out of gas in the middle of nowhere. I called him hysterically crying & finally found a gas station & headed to Birmingham. I think it was a bit of a mental breakdown with all that I have going on. I headed to Sondra & Chasity's house & stayed fro the night.

The next morning, I am on my way to my old school to get the rest of my things & "sign off" on my sheet. I try to force my gear shifter thingy into reverse & my car breaks. Of course!!! I'm pretty much homeless, instructing my daughter to memorize my car tag as her address.... why WOULDN'T my car break? Chas to the rescue!! She comes and gets me & once we discover that we can't fix the problem, she loans me her car & calls her uncle to come look at it th next day. The good thing that happened that day was that I got a call for an interview at the school where Rylee will be going next year. We set it up for Monday.

So, Friday morning, Chas' uncle informs me that the shifter cable to my transmission is broken. I call around & the part has to be ordered to arrive on Tuesday. Chas to the rescue, again... she lets me use her car for the weekend to go for my interview.

The interview went really well. I won't know anything until the end of the month, but at least I've got some prospects!! Wish me luck!!

Anywhoo... I'm getting a little tired. I have more to tell, but I guess it will have to wait.

Much love!!!

It's been awhile!!

I am, self-admittedly, one of the WORST people in the world when it comes to keeping in touch with others. It's not that I don't care, or miss them. I just REALLY suck at it. That being said, although, I hoped that this blog would serve as my way to communicate to those I know and love... I obviously haven't updated in awhile. Let me tell you, a couple of weeks in the life of the Armstrong girls can equate to a lifetime of drama for those that fit the status quo. So, here goes....

I have unofficially "moved" to Butler. We have looked at a couple of houses, both of which I would be really happy occupying. We are in the "guys go and inspect the crawlspace and attic stage" which is one in which I DON'T care to partake. I think I could get used to living there. I am inheriting people who I would put up against any in the world as the GREATEST future in-laws a girl could ask for.

Right now, however, I am on a short hiatus in the Ham. I started off my day with my car breaking (It's still broken, BTW) and then I went to my old school :0( and got as much stuff as I could fit in the car - thanks Chas!! Then... I got a call for an interview at the private school where Rylee and Madi will go. That's Monday at 10... say a prayer for me!

I went out with my friends from school tonight....oh how I am going to miss them. They were so instrumental in helping me through such a hard time in my life.... And somehow found a way to make each day fun. I will so greatly miss those lunchtime and recess talks. No one could ever be lucky enough to work with such wonderful colleagues. There are just no words...

Don't get me started on leaving Bethy, Chas and Sondra... actually... like Bethy said it's not goodbye.... I'll be back. And we will meet for dinners in Tuscaloosa. :0)

On a happy note.... Dwight surprised me with a beautiful ring!!! I have this whole new life on the horizon I am really a lucky girl!!

I hope this helps with keeping informed!! More to come as our journey continues...

Much love!!

Mommie's Day

Oh what a day!! May I begin by stating that I have the most beautiful, amazing, sweet wonderful little girl in the world? I really don't think I need a day to honor me for being a mother. Rylee is the greatest gift I've ever been given.

For the past few days, I've been worried about how today would go for me. It's my first Mother's Day since losing our sweet little angel, and also the 5 month anniversary of Daddy's passing. Friday night, Dwight held me for hours and tried his best to console me as I cried and talked about how much I missed them both. I know he hates it when I cry & he can't fix it, but he was amazing and said the right things.

So, my day started off nice. Dwight and I had a yummy breakfast & then set out to do a little shopping. I had not yet picked up a card and gift for my grandmother (who I was seeing today) so I went over to the cards & the first one I just happened to grab was for "Mommy to Be" so I immediately burst into tears and couldn't stop, so we had to leave Target. It wasn't looking promising... but I medicated, got it together and managed to have a wonderful day after all.

I went and picked up Rylee and we went to enjoy one of my gifts from Dwight... a mother/daughter day at Sips & Strokes. It was so much fun!It was relaxing... ok, maybe THAT was the medication.... :0) And I really like the way my cross turned out. Rylee painted an ADORABLE picture for me. Since I was able to work without following instruction... just looking at a picture - I'm thinking about buying some canvases and paints for the girls and me to play around with over the summer. Madison, Dwight's daughter, is incredibly artistic and talented. Rylee is pretty good for an 8 year old as well. I will stick to the whimsical stuff that has no "right" way to do it. :0) If nothing else, we can create some fun artwork to hang in our new home SOMEWHERE.

We also went and enjoyed dinner at my cousin Alison's house. She has got the CUTEST pregnant belly EVER!! She is having a little boy - he's due September 5th.

As for MY little angel who lives with his Papa in Heaven, I just want him to know how much his mommy loves and misses him being with me. I know I only had a few months of time with him, but he is in my heart and on my mind every single day! Dwight bought me a beautiful charm for my bracelet as my other Mother's Day gift. It has an angel on one side and says "Believe" on the other. And I do... I believe that everything happens for a reason & that Papa and my sweet angel are in Heaven and always with me. Like Dwight said, we have some pretty awesome people watching out for us.

I hope all of you mommies, mommies-to-be, and "will one day be" mommies had a wonderful, blessed day and many more to come. Much Love!!

Great Expectations....

I REALLY need to go pack or go to sleep, but I'm going to blog instead! For some CRAZY reason I woke up at 3:45 this am (after going to bed at 12:15) and could not go back to sleep! So I actually got up and started making those "to do lists" that I so famously create! I made twelve in the middle of the night!

Anyway, although I'm sad about not seeing Dwight this weekend... I'm SUPER excited about the people I DO get to see!! I'm headed to Georgia tomorrow & I'm going to see my "Georgia best friends!!" I haven't seen them since October, some of them even before that! Then, on Saturday, I'm road-tripping with some of my Alabama friends: Mary, Averee, Adair and Cal (Robin & Brock in another car) to another part of Georgia (good thing I'm not driving, huh?) to attend our friend Katie's wedding! I'm so excited to see her and can't wait to see how amazing she will look.....she could give any super-model a run for her money and has more fashion sense and style than anyone I've ever known. I know we'll all have a blast together! We manage to fill the hallways at school with laughter so letting our hair down out of town will be great. I've still yet to reveal the "True James" that sometimes exists on the weekends. :0)

So, as much as I have to do, I'm so excited to have this opportunity filled with fun and friends! And I want to thank God for blessing me with such amazing friends! More to come... Much love!!

So much to do....

I am officially beginning to panic a little!! I have SO MUCH to do and don't know how I'm going to get it all done. Of course, I'm sitting here on the computer rather than being productive. As if venting about how much I have to do will lessen the load. Maybe it will at least help me organize my thoughts and make one of my famous "To Do Lists" that I can start checking off.

First of all.... there is the fact that we only have 17 more days of school (not that I'm complaining) and since I'm leaving after this year....I have a little extra work to do. The end of the year is always crazy with assessments, portfolios, cum folders, report cards, etc. Not to mention that the kids (and their teacher) are all suffering from an acute case of spring fever!! I also need to begin cleaning out my room, getting rid of things I no longer need, ORGANIZING what I do plan on keeping. With no clue of where I'm going to be working next year or even WHAT my occupation will be, there is certainly NO NEED to keep all the things I've accumulated over 8 years of teaching.

Speaking of moving.... I am FINALLY going to get to be with Dwight again when school is out. BUT I have no idea what we're doing about that either. We (he) are constantly changing our minds about buying, building, etc. It's not like there are many options in The Middle of Nowhere, AL! For those of you who don't know... I'm about to move to Edna, AL. Never heard of it? Didn't think so!! Let's put it this way.... I'm 35 minutes from the nearest Wal-Mart & 1 hr 15 minutes from the nearest Target. Talk about a change of pace... I used to live on 280!! So with the move comes registering Rylee for school, which I can't do by 5/1 like I'm supposed to b/c I don't know what my address will be, who our doctors will be, mom's place of employment (I really need to find a job), etc. I guess I COULD always just write TBA across the top of the registration form and give them my money. I'm sure that's what they want the most... I'm trying not to complain too much! At least I get to be with Dwight again & I trust him to make the right decisons for our family. EEK/WHEW!! I'm not in charge all alone anymore! It's altogether refreshing and scary to give up control and let someone else help me out for the first time in a long time!

And then... the wedding. I'm so super excited about getting married in Jamaica!!! Everything is just how I've always dreamed it would be!! Perfect, tropical location, man I love with all my heart, I love everything about it. Planning it has been super easy. Especially since it's just the two of us going. But now I'm working of fun little details like the container I want to use for the sand ceremony, decorations/topper for the cake, flower arrangement ideas, songs, etc. I also need to be working on a guest list for our party in August. It's all fun, but adds a little to my plate.

Well, at least I know that I perform best under pressure! Now, I'm going to go get started on some of this.... probably the fun wedding stuff. :0)

Much Love!

Sunday Goodbyes

Today, I had to do it again.... and it was still hard. I had to say goodbye to Dwight and watch him drive away. It's the first time in awhile that I've gotten so emotional about it. We usually have the girls with us or something else going on. But today, after he gave me as many kisses as he could & repeatedly wiped away my tears and begged me to stop crying, I still couldn't pull myself together. It's so hard to love someone as much as I love him and not be able to see him and be held by him every day.

One would think I'd be used to this by now. After all, we've been doing this for more than 6 months. Maybe it's because I won't see him next weekend. Twelve days seems like an eternity!! I'm trying to focus on the positive things we have going on. Our life together again is just a few weeks away!! We have our wedding in Jamaica and I'm loving planning all the little details! And to think of everything we've been through in those 6 months...so much pain and loss and heartache.... honestly the hardest times of my life! But we've made it through. I've had my doubts if we would- haha! But, we are better and stronger than ever. Of course, I would still like to strangle him every once and awhile, but I restrain myself quite well! :0) I realize how truly blessed we are that God sent us to each other. And I would rather have faced these trials and tribulations a million times over than to not have him in my life.

I see the light at the end of the tunnel!! Only two more "Sunday Goodbyes" to make and then we get to start the transition into our new life!